Above: Beyond the Frozen Giants, Digital, Clip Studio Pro
Tough conversations the last few days. Turning down good friends projects because they are not good fits. Honored to be in your thoughts, but i’m overly cautious with my time and passion projects these days. I’m pushing towards my own style and trying to get better and faster. Money is not the focus with my art right now. Getting better is. My chops are starting to get more solid, I think the next thing is go harder and make myself sweat more. I miss the early days when I could not turn down gigs because I needed to pay rent or eat. More was learned in those few years than any other time. The day job has made me fat and lazy. I miss saying yes to every project, panicking - and figuring it out anyway, and in the process growing. I now have the luxury of picking and choosing my projects, so the trick is to continually choose wisely things that will propel my art forward in a direction where I find happiness and fulfillment. This sounds so easy. It is anything but. After a huge failure a few years ago, I learned a hard lesson. Don’t sign on to something that pays you money, but you are not passionate about. I broke my own cardinal rule, and I crashed and burned. This is the constant struggle. What checks all the right boxes logically, and intellectually, is not the same thing as what checks all those boxes AND the passion box. The logic side of your brain is very convincing. Logic is bullet proof. Self made logic is sacrosanct. It is the word of your own self made God. The missing piece is the spark. The inspiration. The color that has no name and yet we have seen it. We have seen the brush strokes go down with our own fingers and felt - wow. ” I don’t know what this is… but it feels right.” This is the space, the zone, where time was the furthest thing from us. It was just you and the paper, and your favorite music, and you know you have touched something beyond yourself and shared a moment with countless other creators through time. You have sat in shared moments of past masters who also took up the brush and canvas and got lost for hours and had something on the other side. Had something new in the house. Something new. And who cares what comes of it, but the fact that it exists is just so damn satisfying. That’s the thrill of the chase.
The spark. That’s the box that you better damn well check.- Sumrow (too much coffee)